Middle-aged men are trickier to market to than many think. Lazy marketers develop tactics that disparage the “clueless loser” guy, or they’ll pile boobs ‘n’ booze into advertising, confidently assuming that it’ll speak to all middle-aged males - one way or the other. It may reach them, but will it penetrate? Men don’t need to be reminded of their failures, inability or complacency - they need is to feel like anything is possible.
From a social perspective, I have a theory about men that may define a better means of reaching these guys in a manner that will generate better results. Think about this: ask any man who their best male friend is. Ask who their next-best male friend is. Chances are that those names are men who were still boys when they met each other in their teenage years. The deepest relationships that men develop with other men are usually cemented before they turn 20. Men are experts are building acquaintances – business contacts, golfing buddies, drinking partners, husbands-of-wives-friends - but they never let someone “in” quite like they did when they were seventeen. That old friend may now have nothing else in common with their 45-year-old self, but that guy was “there” when their seventeen-year-old guard was down – and that’s why they are still there now.
Men are generally still the neurotic, insecure boys that much advertising ridicules – but they very rarely wear it with such inelegance. They often have a deep, persistent need to reconnect with a younger, more confident, more idealistic version of themselves, because that younger version knew how to dream without limits. They retain their oldest friends because they don’t know how (or don’t want) to build deep connections with newer acquaintances. And more to the point, they can’t (or won’t) trust new people when ever-present social, political or grown-up business concerns are apparent.
Truly effective marketing tactics should dig deeper into a man’s psyche and soul. Most men aspire to innovation and leadership, but their actions rarely match their goals. What is missing in marketing to middle-aged men is an understanding of what this teenage-friend theory reveals. Men need comfort, peace-of-mind, and simplicity, aligned with non-judgemental trust. People are judged every day, but sometimes you just need to be yourself. Men don’t need another salesman trying to be their “buddy”, and they need to be disparaged even less – they get enough of that already. They need to know that their core beliefs are respected and reflected, if not shared, without judgement.
Every young guy wanted to be a star athlete, rock star or mogul. It didn’t happen, and they’re all a little pissed off about it now, but their earliest friends who shared the articulation of those dreams understand the disappointment in learning that the dreams weren’t achievable (for whichever reason). Those friends also understand how those dreams evolved into the present reality – for better or worse. Nothing can touch that – not golf partners, drinking buddies, or even life partners. Good marketers should dissect, understand and respect that.
This explains the success of Nike, Four Seasons Hotels, or most luxury brands for that matter: it is always preferable (if not possible) to “just do it”; you deserve the best, without question or judgement (as long as you can pay the bill). Middle-aged men almost always aspire to be better than their current reality (even if actions rarely match goals), and leveraged aspirations are therefore a powerful marketing tool if applied creatively.
Men aren’t clueless or desperate – they are just very resistant to change, and they need an occasional comfort-zone separate from their daily concerns that does not represent dramatic change. If marketers understand that every 40-year-old man is still an 18-year-old at heart, then they should also understand that “boobs ‘n’ booze” won’t speak to them in an efficient manner: in their hearts, they know that the conventional “party picture” is a reality that is now beyond their grasp. Again, they’re a bit pissed off about it, but it’s a fact, and they don’t need another reminder of their fading dreams and abilities. What they do need is to feel like anything is possible – anything at all. Is it better to suggest the achievement of an impossible dream – or to deliver a sense of confidence, aspiration and security, such as that which comes from sharing in the confidence of a best friend?
Remember what life was like when you were seventeen? It probably sucked – but in hindsight, didn’t the world seem to be your oyster? Everything was going to change after high school – you would go to school, go to work, get money, and get a life. All of those things happened – just not as most people planned. But, if smart marketers can remember that we all remember the shimmering possibility represented in teenage/early 20s dreaming, there is a huge opportunity to leverage a brand in a manner that is relevant, exciting, personable and sustainable. Anything is possible.
