Dear social media “experts”:
f&%# off with the rules. The point of online communication is that it is self-published.
There aren't supposed to be any rules - in fact, rules miss the point entirely.
Your intentions are likely honorable in trying to make other writers adhere to
your vision, but seriously - it takes gall to declare yourself the voice
of reason in a system that in anarchic by nature. The only “rules” anyone
should follow with online communications are their own – the same rules that
they live their life and conduct their business by. Anything less would be
inauthentic and dishonest.
Many “consultants” proclaim various
“rules” under the guise of providing “business advice”, but seriously - the
only time cookie-cutter advice should apply to an entrepreneurial enterprise is
if someone is trying to build a business EXACTLY like someone else’s. One of
the main reasons why it’s great to be an entrepreneur is that it gives you the
freedom to play by your own rules: it is supposed
to be anarchic. It is supposed to be the precise vision of the founder, rules
be damned.
People take social media far
too seriously. I’m guilty of it too – one of my Facebook “friends” recently chose
to share their pro-handgun beliefs - repeatedly. I took them to task on it, only
to be told to “chill out”. No big deal there – just a sharing of viewpoints,
really – but if I heard them discussing this topic at a party, what would I do?
Call them on what I think is bullshit, or would I just walk away to find a
discussion more suited to my taste? Probably the latter, and yet, there I was
continuing to be engaged with this person through the gauze of the Internet.
Why don’t I just “walk away”? Better yet, why don’t I “unfriend” them? It’s not
like I’m breaking ties forever – it’s only Facebook, right? If I’m not enjoying
the discourse, then why continue? I gain nothing from sticking with a
conversation that I’m not engaged in.
Another thought: I recently received
a Facebook message stating, “On April 30th, I will delete all Facebook friends
that haven’t “liked” my business page.” My first reaction was that this person
has paid too much attention to a social media consultant…. but at the end of
the day, do I really “know” this guy? Nope. Do I know what his business is? Not
really. Why are we Facebook “friends” anyway? He’s a nice guy - I think we met
at a networking event or something. But if I haven’t engaged his services
professionally then I can’t choose to “endorse” his business with a “Like” (which
is my view of what a business “Like” means – everyone is entitled to their interpretation
of “rules”, right?). So, there goes a Facebook connection.
But really, who cares? How
well do I really “know” all of my Facebook connections? How about you? Can you
say with confidence where they all live? Have you been to their homes? Are they
friends – really? My answer is “no” in about 25% of my Facebook connections. That
just seems weird to me – I mean, I post photos of my kids there. Lots of ‘em. I
also strive for a work/life balance, which means that I don’t really want
business connections to know about my daughter’s birthday party – it’s simply not
relevant to our business relationship. We may become friends in the future, but
if someone added me as a “friend” to preach their real estate listings, but I
don’t recognize them on the street, then we ain’t friends yet.
So, I’m choosing to stick
with people that I do recognize immediately in person for Facebook, and I’m keeping
my professional contacts in other areas. That’s not to say that my future best
pal isn’t lurking in my current group of Facebook friends already – but I don’t
believe we’re going to become best friends through the trolling of each other’s
complaints, accomplishments and family photos. It takes an actual personal
connection for that relationship to grow. That will come later – and if it
does, I will be honored to ask for their hand in Facebook friendship once again.
My point? This is all my
choice – it is how I will choose to manage my human connections. People will
tell me differently, and they are entitled to their opinion, but they shouldn’t
tell me I’m wrong. I may not be “right” - I may even actually be “wrong”, but I
don’t adhere to most business rules anyway (within the law, of course): it won’t
do me (or my clients) any good to be fake about that now. We are all unique,
and our uniqueness is the value that we bring to every relationship – professional,
personal, real, online, or imagined.
